Binged last night. And now that I went through some of your blogs I am feeling really guilty about it. I had found an old diary yesterday from like 1.5/2 years ago and it was a tough read. I felt really alone and for some reason instead of finding comfort in not eating I found it in a BLT, toast, pita with dip, granola bar, buttered popcorn, spaghetti, ice cream, pop tart. And I didnt even purge. How stupid and fat I am. I hate myself for being so weak all the time. Today to make up for it I am going to fast. Just water and 0 cal drinks. Then tomorrow I work a double which will not allow me to eat much if anything. Its time I start punishing myself. Its time I stop thinking its not a big deal. Its time for me to be skinny. Its time for me to start working out daily. And to start working harder at my career goals. I want to have it all and look good doing it. I want people to think, I dont know how she does it. I want to be envied and loved.
How badly i want this