CP: Hoodia
CD: ABC Diet
Yesterday was semi-successful. I was able to stay with in 500 cal but those are the easy days. I totaled out at 470 cal. Intake:
Lean Cuisine sesame chicken= 330cal
Health Vally Chocolate Toaster= 140cal
I didnt work out though and it was pretty hard resisting binging. Today is Valentines Day....just a reminder of how alone I will be forever. I feel like there are always though people who will never find someone it just sucks because that's all I have wanted. My mum is out of town for a week but I have an aunt and uncle staying with me. I really wanted the house to myself to get my bearings. I wish people would understand that I just need to be alone because they cannot fill the void I feel and provoke my anxiety instead. I cant be entertaining all the time its mentally exhausting for me. I just want to have my own place already where I can not eat if I dont want to. I can sit in a quiet room and not talk to anyone if I dont want to. With out being judged. Life is becoming just too much for me. Maybe I'll just take a few days off and just drive somewhere, anywhere by myself. Really its just cuz I want him. The him that refuses me. That makes me melt. That whispers he loves me, and means it. To be happy with. And I dont think there is anything wrong with wanting and needing that, it's just unlikely so people tell you to be happy with yourself. But I already I know I cant do that.
Daily Thinspo
I want to be sexy like her with the one shoulder
I want to just simply be her, platinum blonde, long skinny legs, bad ass but delicate
Awesome job staying under 500 calories yesterday! Best of luck today : )
ReplyDeleteStay strong,
Dainty
I'm also one of those people who'll be alone forever. I understand wanting to be alone; sometimes you just need the solitude to regain focus and relax. Entertaining all the time is exhausting. Hope you feel better soon sweetie xx
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